A Quantum of Bollocks

Oh noes, my brainwaves be confuzed!

Oh noes, my brainwaves be confuzed! Note: Actual bird eye’s-view brainscans = actual cartoons with pretty colours on.

‘Quantum’ has been one of the favourite weapons in the pseudo-science douchebag’s arsenal for some time now.  Back in the late 80s, Roger Penrose and Stuart Hameroff made a serious attempt to fashion a theory of consciousness that involved interactions between quantum-entangled molecules in cytoskeletal microtubules. At least, the authors seemed to take it pretty seriously, if nobody else actually did.

Of course, some neuro-snake-oil merchants have jumped on the quantum band-wagon, because… well… because quantum sounds all sciencey, I expect. Plus it has things called ‘leaps’ associated with it (even though that was really just a TV show about time-travellers) which sounds cool, too, right?

First up is a website called ‘QDreams’ with the achingly cheesy tagline “Success at the speed of thought!”. Their product is:

“Quantum Brain Fitness training lets the user simply relax and listen to empowering mind message audio-sessions that are strategically encoded with Neuro-Sensory Algorithms for optimizing brain wave activity”

Riiight. Reading on a bit further reveals that the main man behind QDreams is Richard Bandler, one of the inventors of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, back in the 70s. NLP is a widely-discredited branch of pseudo-science that was popular back in the 70s and 80s among the self-help, motivational-speaking crowd.

I noted in my previous post that Brain Balance Centers seem to be just a re-packaging of some old ideas from chiropractic, re-packaged for the modern neuro-aware world. QDreams seems to be similar – the same old NLP neurobollocks re-packaged to sell once again to fit the current fad of ‘Brain Training’.

Another similar system is being touted over at quantum-mind-power-system.com. This system of ‘monaural and isochronic tones’ will apparently reorganise your brainwaves into a harmonious order and make you rich, successful, better in bed, etc. etc. blah, blah. Urgh. This site even has the nerve to rag on other brain training systems based on binaural beats, saying that they’re ‘just a brainwave placebo—it’s nothing but a sugar pill!’. Whereas their system is baed on ‘proven’ monaural beats. Hilariously they illustrate this point by waveforms of each type of sound, essentially making the point that monaural beats look different in terms of frequency spectra to binaural. Well, duh. This ‘quantum-mind-power system’ costs a whopping $232 for a few CDs and books filled with incoherent gibberish – what a bargain!

Both these companies earn a solid 10 out of 10 on the neurobollocks product rating scale, and both represent the same old bullshit, cynically re-packaged for a modern audience.

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7 responses to “A Quantum of Bollocks

  1. So glad I found you! Haven’t read much of your lovely style yet, but keep up the good work protecting the naive from the peddlers of bull. If you’ve never read the wikipedia page on ‘bollocks’ it might be worth a go … Your sense of humor methinks.

  2. Reblogged this on Nosapience's Blog and commented:
    Oh yes, I’m going to unashamedly use my favorite quote. It would appear that I have found some long lost kin.

    I am a deferment of the forgotten cynic people, their ancient language is like Kung Fu for the brain, protecting the naive from the peddlers of bull.

    Looking forward to treading more.

  3. Pingback: Folk neuroscience, and some other neurobollocks | NeuroBollocks

  4. I think I’d want my brain waves to look like the first picture, rather than the second. The first one shows a complex pattern of activity across different areas while the second one seems to be having a seizure

  5. Pingback: A Quantum of Bollocks | Brain Tricks: Belief, B...

  6. The creators of Q-dreams (P.P & R.B etc.) have much more science, research, and published books reinforcing their results than you have to discredit them. I am a 25 year old who has reaped the benefits of Qdreams hypnosis and NSAs sessions, and I say they work. If you have any doubts just read Awaken The Genius written by the creator of Qdreams long before Qdreams was created, and you will get a real sense that Dr.P doesnt half ass his work for profit.

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